this is the first episode of “juliette on drugs or drunk or something”. i’ll think of a better name sometime i dont really know.
i am juliette sorrano and i am stoned and i regret it. but im def going to do it again.
this isn’t the first time i’ve gotten high. i love it. but i also regret it. if i’m alone, like i am now because nobody loves me, all i have are my thoughts.
i have a sensual feeling of bliss and it warms me. but a piece of me is missing. it’s my sanity no doubt.
i love and i lose everyone and everything. my ex best friend, a girl whom i cant remember the name of now. she moved across the country to get away from me. i wonder why.
the first girl i ever fell in love with, Talia. she was beautiful and amazing and i was in love with her. i never told her and we drifted apart. i haven;t talked to her in a looong timeee. she’s as fucked up as me, i can tell you that. maybe even more.
alaska. i loved her and my paranoid anxious depressed self drove her away. she was also cheating on me, but i know its because i was just annoying and a terrible girlfriend. but i hate her, she can literally go fuck herself.
stella. oh stella. i fell for her when alaska left. technically when i left her. but she was different. she had a mind of her own. she didn’t care about what people thoguht of her. she led me on for longer than i can imagine. i finally came clean about my feeligns and she stopped talking to me. she has a boyfriend now whom i hope loves her very much, more than i could’vve. i don’t think i’ll ever truly be over stella. she’s the kind of great big beautiful love that even if you’re over them and have been for years, your heart still throbs and aches when it rains.
alaska again. salt in the wound mother fucker. she keeps coming back saying she loves me and wishes she could change her dcurrent situation and that i have to wait it out. fuck no bitch. ltierally die.
penny. my sister. i love her wth all my heart. shes my soul. but she’s leaving me. she hasnt even left me yet but i already know she has to leave and is oging to very soon. which hurts evn more.
the one thing that hasn’t left are my razors. i fell in love with them at first sight and theyve been here ever since. they make me feel in control and alive. i feel happy for a second and a half when i use them.
blame penny for my current state. no, blame penny’s stash for my current state. i’m sorry pen, i’ll repay you later i know stealing is bad.
this hurts. why do i do this. memories hurt. shouldn’t i know this by now?